If you have had a child then you will be familiar with the enormous responsibility of choosing a name for that wee individual. The pressure would keep me up at night.
I managed to refrain from looking at name books and from google searches such as “old lady names” until I got that double line of positivity. But as soon as that bun was in the oven I was consumed. I started focusing on the credits of movies.
During one pregnancy I was working as a receptionist at a vet clinic. I would spend time searching client names. Dog names make great little people names. The thing is, naming a baby is one thing, but that name has to last a lift time. What suits a bonnie wee baby boy may not suit a rather large masculine man.
And then there’s ‘namer’s remorse’. I had this bad with our son, Angus. I didn’t regret that we gave him the middle name of ‘Danger’. He will, unfortunately for him, always know that his parents have an odd sense of humor. But I was not happy with ‘Angus’. We loved that our Scottish heritage was evident, and its meaning is “strength”, but I had a bad case of ‘namer’s remorse’. I even looked into what I would have to do to officially change it, but I had no idea what too, so Angus it remained.
On a more recent google search I found that it also means ‘one’, which is fitting as he is my only boy, besides the baby that resulted from my egg donation, but thats their ‘one’, and another post all together. Also appropriate as he was a twin!
As I’d had two previous pregnancies I knew when we were pregnant within the first couple of weeks of gestation. All my pregnancy cues were in full force. I went for bloods, which showed higher results than expected for someone at that gestation. We were sent for an early scan. I think it was about 8 weeks. Sure enough the scan showed two little heart beats. The problem was that one little line was the expected length for 8 weeks and the other 6 weeks. We loved the idea of having twins, but were told of this vanishing twin syndrome and knew it didn’t look promising. While superfetation can coccur in animals, such as rodents, rabbits and horses, it’s not known to occur in humans.
Sure enough by the next scan, 2 weeks later the little line was just a line, without the flickering heart beat. Perhaps the loss of this little spirit is why I didnt feel complete after our third child, and lead me to donate eggs…. which still didnt satisfy my need for another little spirit.
We had our fourth child, Daisy, five years later.
‘Old lady’s name’…… Tick